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Thursday, October 4, 2007

Nursing

Today was a heartbreaking day (again!). My struggles with nursing have left me upset and sad. The week after I had my daughter, I ended up back at the doctor with very high fevers (pushing 104) and lots of pain. Turned out I had a uterine infection and my breastmilk totally dried up. The doc reccommended the herb fenugreek - it has had some success in helping relactation. Well, it helped slightly. I had a little milk and for a while M was latching on really well and nursing for a few minutes before each formula bottle. I was pleased with even this little bit b/c at least she was getting some and the doc told me that it only takes a little to still be beneficial to them healthwise and of course I loved the bonding. However, over the past few weeks she is latching on less and less and in the past few days she has gotten none b/c she cries everytime I try to get her to latch on. It is so frustrating, to not be able to nurture and nourish her in the way I had planned. I do believe God is sovereign in all things, but it still hurts so much to see her cry at me and for the bottle and be so happy when I put the formula in her mouth. I've tried pumping, but nothing, I mean NOTHING, comes out. What little milk I had is going away quickly and I don't want it to! I have started taking a lactation blend of herbs from Whole Foods Market, but it isn't really helping. It seems like everywhere I go I see women nursing and it stings my heart. I really wanted to breastfeed for a long time and it's just not happening. I am hurting...

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Oh Les your breaking my heart, do you have a La Leche League nearby? I have never used them but so many people have talked about how they helped. I would think that it is early enough that your milk would come back. I didn't get anything with a pump either, I realize your frustration. Please keep trying :)
I know that sometimes we want something so bad and it doesn't happen, I'll pray for you.

Melissa said...

Awww, Leslie, I just want to hug you. I've been there, sweetie. I think Stephanie gave you some wonderful advice. You could also call your hospital and talk with lactation nurses. I know they were very helpful to Trisha, as you know she nursed Benjamin. I was unable to get Brandon to latch on but I gave him pumped breast milk for a while. I admire you for trying. But I will tell you this, please try not to put too much pressure on yourself about it and take it slow. If it doesn't work out for you please take comfort in knowing you are doing the best for your baby and that is what really matters. I'll be praying for you too, that this works out, ok. Lots of luvvvvv!